Categories: Self-Care

Shamelessly Single by choice!

I’m proud of my choice to be single. As taboo as it seems, I put myself first, for once.

I chose to do the work on my #mentalfitness

Deciding to unpack my baggage as opposed to bringing them to someone else’s table

I chose to adult!

I’m not lonely.

I’m not desperately in need of a man’s attention or company.

I’m not either

And I’m not

WHY?

Because I know I cannot attract a quality man being half a woman.

When all your pain and trauma come to the table before you do that’s a problem.

The only thing that shows up to eat with you is a man that is attracted to trauma and dysfunction.

I got mentors specifically focused on #emotionalhealing #traumainformed dedicated to marriage and women who desire to be married.

I went to therapy to work on my trauma, #abandonmentissues dealing with narcissistic and toxic partners.

Worked on my beliefs about men (where did they come from and was it even true)

I went on dates and explored.

It was fun and what I discovered was more amazing than I could even believe.

Connecting with men and having dialogues to understand how to be with and connect to men through conversations was dope!

The books we won’t even go there!

So what’s the problem?

There isn’t one!

People are quick to assume it means anything because you decide not to follow the status quo!

Then there is the judgments? Oh something must be wrong with her?

She over 45…

She has a kid…

She overweight …

Black men don’t want you…

To much work …

Blah blah blah …

All these are false narratives

rooted in historical and cultural factors including slavery, Jim Crow laws, and persistent systemic racism.

I’m just saying

These are harmful (used to be hurtful but it’s bs do…) stereotypes perpetuated through

Media

Societal attitudes

Individual biases

Worse, the notion of black men being attracted to women of other races and not black women

 have been used to further marginalize Black women and reinforce negative stereotypes forever!

Everyone has a choice!

The race of my partner is a non-factor for me too

So my life, my love, my body is my Choice.

I’ll use the 3 keys Intuition. Understand. Faith.

It makes me happy to work on my dreams. 

I am invaluable!

I’m accepted in every room I enter.

My relationships flourish with my brothers and my sisters!

I’m fully supported with space to be supportive.

THE CHOICE?

Be happy now.

Put me first until “The One” who is just as committed to his full development is ready to receive what I have to offer!

I didn’t do all this work to settle for less than what I deserved!

What about you?

How do you hold yourself, and your mental, and physical well-being?

What do you do to keep yourself in high regard as you wait for all that you deserve?

What actions do you take now?

#blackexcellence #blackwomendate #datingover40 #divorcedmom #singlemomlife #independent #waitingforsummer #DoTheWork #mentalfitness #MentalFitnessCoach #coachyou360

Tonia Emanuel

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